If you work in out-of-school time, chances are you’ve supported a young person with ADHD, or maybe even a whole group. You’ve probably noticed how traditional praise, pressure, or “just try harder” pep talks don’t land the way you hoped. That’s because ADHD brains process things like motivation and expectations differently. The good news? There are better ways to encourage that help youth feel seen and supported, and we’re going to share one with you here.

Why Traditional Encouragement Can Backfire
The first thing to know is that generic encouragement doesn’t always register for kids with ADHD. In fact, it can have the opposite effect. Telling a young person “You got this!” might sound supportive, but if their brain is overwhelmed or distracted, that kind of comment might just add more noise.

“You need to finish this now” can feel like pressure and may lead to shutdown. On the flip side, too little direction can leave them unsure of what to do next.

Underneath it all, many kids with ADHD are already battling harsh self-talk. When you layer vague or demanding messages on top, you risk reinforcing the belief that they’re failing or falling short. Instead, encouragement needs to be clear, kind, and rooted in trust.

The L.I.F.T. Method
One helpful way to reframe your approach is to use the L.I.F.T. method. This simple, compassionate strategy helps youth feel grounded, capable, and safe.

L: Listen First
Before jumping in with advice, listen. Really listen. Try:

• “That sounds frustrating. I see how hard you’ve been trying.”
• “Thanks for telling me. That must’ve been tough.”

Validation goes a long way, especially for kids who may feel misunderstood.

I: Identify Strengths
Be specific. ADHD brains need context.

Instead of “Great job,” try:

• “You explained that so clearly.”
• “The way you organized your project was super creative.”

This kind of feedback builds real confidence. It shows kids why they’re doing well and helps rewrite internal narratives like, “I’m not good enough.”

F: Frame Positively
Instead of commands, offer belief and reminders of past success. Try:

• “You’ve handled big things before. I know you can do this too.”
• “Let’s figure it out together.”

The goal here is to shift from pressure to possibility. Kids feel more empowered when they know they have your support, not your control.

T: Tie to Autonomy
Give options. Offer support without taking over. Try:

• “Would it help if I sat with you while you got started?”
• “What’s one small step you feel ready to take?”

When we offer choice, we help kids with ADHD build their own momentum, which is the most powerful kind.

Bonus Tip: Make the Demand Disappear
Sometimes, just knowing a task has to get done is enough to trigger resistance. That’s where a little creativity can go a long way. Try:

• Pairing the task with something fun (like folding laundry while listening to music).
• Turning it into a mini-dare (“I’m just going to open the document”).
• Asking a friend or teammate to check in (“Text me in 10 minutes to see if I started”).

Why This Approach Matters in OST
Afterschool programs are often places where kids feel most free to be themselves. It’s also where they build relationships with adults who see them beyond the classroom labels. When you meet youth with ADHD with encouragement that feels safe and real, you help shift how they see themselves.

You might be the first person to reflect their effort back to them in a way that actually sticks, and that’s powerful.

So the next time you’re coaching a young person through a tough project, a group activity, or even just cleaning up from snack time, remember the L.I.F.T. method. It’s a small shift with a big impact. And it might just be the thing that helps them believe they can do hard things.

Interested in learning more? Check out this resource from Coaching with Brooke, LCC., led by Brooke Schnittman, MA, PCC, BCC.

Want more tips? Join NAA’s community of afterschool professionals to connect with others who care about youth development as much as you do.

This March, we released the Spring 2025 issue of NAA’s bi-annual magazine, AfterSchool Today, focused on the power of local leadership and bold innovation. Dubbed the “Changemakers” issue, this edition highlights the dynamic, future-focused work of state and regional intermediaries — many of them NAA Affiliates — who are shaping the future of afterschool.

This month, dive into Unlocking State Funding for OST & Youth Mental Health by Jenna Courtney and Jenna McClure of TXPOST. The article tells the story of the Direct Service Program designed by TXPOST that helps community-based OST providers implement mental health promotion and prevention practices and activities with youth in their programs.

Read the Article

Want to learn more? Jenna Courtney was a guest on our recent webinar celebrating the spring issue! Watch the recording here.

If you have a favorite cafe or a park, you have a third place. Coined by sociologist Ray Oldenburg, a third place is an accessible spot where we find community outside of home or work. Third places encourage self-discovery in safe, non-judgmental ways.

Afterschool programs serve as that “third place” for millions of kids and teens. Youth can explore new interests, build friendships, and find a sense of belonging. And because they’re third places, they’re an optimal environment for youth to learn and reinforce a growth mindset.

Growth mindset is rooted in the belief that, with effort, a person’s abilities can develop, exceeding their natural talents. You might know youth with this mindset. They confidently approach new situations and show persistence amidst adversity. Rather than feeling threatened by a peer’s success, they find inspiration.

Early-career afterschool professionals play a crucial role in shaping kids’ outlook on school and life. Youth see you as a relatable person whom they trust and can confide in. In this role, you can help youth reframe their thinking and unlock higher levels of achievement. It starts with promoting a growth mindset.

Reflect on how you approach challenges

Kids watch our every move – including how we handle setbacks! In a 2023 study of nearly 1,000 junior high schoolers, those who saw their caregivers as having positive beliefs about failure were more likely to benefit from having a growth mindset.

Our personal growth mindset serves as a valuable reference to students. Reflect on how you respond to constructive criticism. Now, consider Morgan, who says, “I hate being here” and refuses to participate. It’s instinctive to feel frustrated or think, “She’s only here two afternoons a week. What can I do?” However, a growth mindset reframes Morgan’s response as an opportunity to improve her experience. What does she need to make her feel more safe and secure after school? How might tapping into her interests encourage engagement?

Practice process-praise

As a young guidance counselor, I thought complimenting students was a key motivator: “Another A? You’re so smart.” Or: “You’re an amazing athlete. That’s why you won!” I was unknowingly having a fixed mindset, focusing on outcomes rather than the student’s journey. Working with youth as they discover their talents remains one of my favorite parts of my job. However, I now use process praise, which uplifts a child’s hard work and resourcefulness: “Wow, you put in some time preparing for that exam. It paid off!” In highlighting a child’s effort, we’re reminding them to take pride in their progress – and practice their resilience. They’re capable of doing difficult things, like mastering timetables or learning an instrument.

Provide feedback that encourages introspection

In a world that favors quick answers, prompt students to reflect. When providing feedback, share what you’re observing, which can cue youth: “I noticed how…” or “Look at the progress you’ve made…” After an activity, try wrap-up questions like “What went well?” or “How do you think we can improve?” In leading with observation, we’re creating intentional pauses for youth, encouraging them to shift into a growth mindset. This can also be effective one-on-one, like helping a student struggling with homework identify which aspects they’re stuck on.

Having a positive inner voice, driven by a growth mindset, significantly predicts academic achievement. A longitudinal study of over 200,000 California students in grades 4-7 found that those with a growth mindset gained 33 additional days of learning in English/language arts and 31 additional days in math each year.

Normalize mistakes

Post-it notes, velcro, popsicles – they were all invented by accident. In a growth mindset, errors and failures are “data.” An afterschool environment balancing academics, relationships, games and meals, allow students to collect this data and, more importantly, use it for future decision-making. When a child misunderstands directions or reacts to losing a game, share some of your memorable mistakes. During a snacktime or break, encourage students to do the same. By normalizing mistakes, we’re signaling to youth that asking for help is important and part of learning. We’re also fostering inclusivity, quashing comments or jokes about someone else’s error.

Adolescence brings unique obstacles. Yet having a growth mindset acts as a hidden superpower, offering youth the grit to improve and overcome. Afterschool spaces, as casual third places, allow students to challenge and reimagine their limiting beliefs, away from traditional classrooms. By modeling and embracing this mindset, early-career professionals can guide students to become active learners and mindful problem-solvers.

Theresa Melito-Conners, PhD is a special education district administrator in Massachusetts and the founder of Dr. MC’s Self-Care Cabaret, where she creates theater-inspired professional development services on mental health and work-life balance for educators and helping professionals.

Two recent articles in Education Week highlight the increasing behavioral needs of students, reflecting what we often hear from afterschool employees. Post-pandemic, children display more intense behaviors and have fewer coping skills than in previous years. As a result, many finish their days feeling exhausted and overwhelmed, simply grateful to have made it through another week.

While there is no one-size-fits-all solution to this issue, various strategies can be employed to transform reactions into responses in times of chaos, improving the ability to manage stress and prevent burnout.

Working with young people is incredibly rewarding; however, as many know, some moments can be particularly challenging. At times, certain behaviors can trigger us, resulting in emotional and punitive responses as we attempt to regain control of the situation. Many have resorted to at least a few of these reactions over their careers. It happens, and it’s part of being human. While these are not ideal, they are all possible responses one might have in a challenging moment.

If this has happened to you, consider these three options from The Flourish Lab, focused on self-regulation and self-awareness, next time you feel your emotions rising:

1. Give yourself some space: Literally physically give yourself space. If you can, step back, take a moment to sip some water, or take a few deep breaths. An escalated adult cannot effectively de-escalate an agitated child. Take the time you need to gather your thoughts. Using that space can provide you the six seconds necessary to consciously choose your response instead of reacting impulsively.
2. Name it to tame it: Neuroscience demonstrates that labeling our emotions automatically activates the prefrontal cortex, helping us feel calmer. The next time you’re overwhelmed, angry, or stressed, try saying, “I’m feeling ____ right now” or “I’m feeling ____ because ____ is happening.” Notice how you feel afterward. You’ll likely find yourself feeling a bit calmer.
3. Deliberately choose how to respond to avoid simply reacting. Reflect on your motivations for your work, your values and strengths, and the image you wish to convey.

Content derived from an article by Marla Goldstein, Youth Resilience Coordinator for NAA Affiliate Vermont Afterschool. Content originally adapted from The Flourish Lab.

Looking back, many of us can probably think of at least one adult that had a positive impact on our life. These positive relationships are also known as developmental relationships. Developmental relationships are close connections through which young people discover who they are, gain abilities to shape their own lives, and learn how to interact with and contribute to the world around them.

Decades of research shows that young people’s development is rooted in their relationships. When youth have high-quality, positive relationships with parents, teachers, mentors, coaches, and peers, they are more likely to grow, learn, and develop social-emotional skills and resilience in the face of obstacles. It is through these impactful relationships and support networks that youth develop and grow their social capital — a web of relationships that helps young people reach their life and career goals.

Caring adults and near peers who serve as mentors, coaches, educators, and youth practitioners are well positioned to build these strong developmental relationships with youth.

When mentoring relationships are characterized by the five elements of a developmental relationship, for example, they are primed to facilitate social capital development by serving as a bridge to connections and resources, enhancing access to community resources, and strengthening youth’s confidence as they work toward their future.

Near peers are slightly older and/or more experienced peers who typically serve in mentorship and/or coaching roles. Near peers may serve as more proximal role models than educators or other adult practitioners and often share a similar identity and/or life experience as the young people they support. It is possible that due to comparable age and life experiences, and a smaller power differential, youth may feel a greater sense of comfort and safety going to a near peer for support.

Search Institute’s Youth Opportunity Toolkit is designed to help organizations learn more about the transformative role of developmental relationships in the lives of young people, and gain insight into the benefits of social capital while introducing the key components to support leaders and practitioners in getting started on a pathway to becoming a social capital promoting organization. Explore the toolkit here.

Consider...

Our names are one of the first indicators of our personal identities, often representing individual, familial, and cultural meanings that are significant for many reasons.

Taking the time to learn the correct pronunciation and spelling of someone's name and consistently using it is a first step to convey sincere and authentic interest in relationship building.

Additionally, a lot of assumptions are made about others when names are the only information we have about a person. Human brains tend to conjure up traits, personalities, expectations, and more, even before we meet the person attached to the name. This practice can often frame how we perceive and engage with them; creating preconceived notions that can determine interactions and outcomes.

Children and young people may not always be in a position to correct the adult when their names are mispronounced, shortened, spelled incorrectly, or changed. Sometimes, adults are not always able to correct other adults due to power dynamics. As professionals, this is one area we can fix by modeling and demonstrating vulnerability through self-correction and practice. As the older Nike slogan stated, "Just Do It."

Using a child's name with a joyful and gentle tone can support positive identity development, model positive communication, and create welcoming spaces for everyone. Each of us gets to decide how we want to be remembered and taking the time to learn a student's name and using it with care is the beginning of building authentic relationships.

Avoid...
Apologizing in advance, "I am going to mess up names!"
Shortening someone's name to syllables or sounds.
Assigning a name that is more familiar for you to use or an abbreviation of the name.
Referring to the person as "hey, you" or a pronoun to avoid saying their name.
Commenting that a name is "so" ethnic, unfamiliar, or difficult to pronounce, spell, or remember.
Communicating subtly that a name is problematic.
Sharing that how a name is spelled or pronounced is different from the "normal" way.

Embrace...
Being vulnerable with names that are new to you.
Asking for assistance to correctly pronounce and spell someone's name. "Saying and spelling your name (and/or your child's name) is important to me. Can you assist me with my learning?"
Waiting to be informed of a nickname or shortening of a name that the person prefers you to use.
Gathering information about a name, its meaning, origin, and significance from the person.

Self-Reflection Activity

Educator Experience: "Its Konner with a K"

"Konner with a K" entered my life mid-school year by showing up as an unregistered student without an adult or paperwork, getting off the bus and announcing, "I am Konner with a K" - a phrase he would repeat every time he said his name (which was about 25 times in that first hour). After repeatedly saying this to me, I eventually responded in frustration, "I got it. Konner with a K!"

Upon further investigation, I found out that he arrived in our city due to his family traveling through from another state, and when their car broke down here, they stayed. They lived in the broken-down car. He woke up the next day, saw a school bus, hopped on it, and showed up announcing, "I knew it would bring me to a school."  As he shared, I realized that this was something he was used to doing and had done numerous times in his young life. He knew the bus would bring him to a place and people who were safe. My heart broke.

My frustration at his repeatedly saying, "I am Konner with a K" was immediately replaced with guilt over initially focusing on what his unexpected "enrollment" meant to me (additional work that was not planned for that morning), and not what it meant to him. I learned from him an important and meaningful lesson about names and identity. For Konner with a K, his name was his only possession that he knew he would always have with him, no matter where the car broke down or which school he attended; he was acutely aware that adults may have difficulty locating his records so he had practiced being helpful with the spelling of his name. Getting his name correct was emotionally and logistically important to him.

So thank you dear Konner with a K for teaching this educator an important lesson: to always gently use another's name.

Shared Perspectives...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Om_XBmF0pA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4TXgaQRc5Ew
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C7it5CLU2tU

Written by Marcy L. Peake, MA, LPC, NCC,CFLE

This article was originally published by The Center for Cultural Agility.

In 1993, Tameyer Evans was a sixth-grader at Coan Middle School in Atlanta, Georgia.

She was one of 10 students selected to participate in a Peer Helper program sponsored by the Georgia Department of Human Resources and implemented through the DeKalb County Board of Health's Health Education Department.

Patricia Patrick, now Public Health Analyst for the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's School Health Branch, was a Community Health Educator and Trainer with the DeKalb County Board of Health. She was one of four professionals leading the program.

"The goal was to help these students become certified peer health educators," Patricia said. "We taught them facts about puberty, teen pregnancy prevention, anti-smoking promotion and general adolescent health information. We wanted students to know how to protect themselves and how to share correct health education messages with their peers so they could have healthy futures. We gave them work experience and a skill building training program so they could educate others."

The program met once a week during the school year and every weekday during the summer.

"The students were part of our workforce in the summer. When they went back to school, the office was way too quiet," Patricia said. "I'm like a parent. You're not to suppose to have favorites, but of course, I had a favorite. Tameyer was very eager to learn, very outspoken and very confident sharing information with her peers. We were supportive of all 10 students, but we spent additional time with Tameyer because of her interest and excitement."

After the program, Tameyer continued on to high school and then Georgia Southern University, where she focused on Community Health Education. She attended Georgia State University, where she completed a Master of Public Administration program with a concentration in policy analysis and evaluation.

Today, she's the Program Manager of the Georgia Division of Family and Children Services' Afterschool Care Program.

Her public health journey started with Patricia's mentorship in 1993, but the two lost touch after the youth program concluded.

Until NAA's Annual Convention in 2017 when they were reunited.

"I was looking at the roster for Georgia, and I thought, I recognize that name," Patricia said. "I went over and tapped her on the back, and she looked over her shoulder like, 'Who's tapping me on the back?'"

Then, the screaming and hugging began.

Tameyer notes it was an opportunity to tell Patricia the influence she had on her career path and life. "The expectation of greatness was given to us that they believed we could do great things. The support in the program helped us be successful down the line."

"There was nothing they couldn't do," Patricia added. "It was a question of: Will you or won't you?"

Both Patricia and Tameyer attended NAA Convention to make connections and gain resources.

"It turned out to be one of the most enriching experiences for me professionally. It helped me be amongst my people. There are a lot of us focused on making the afterschool space the best it can be," Tameyer said.

"The best opportunity was to see Patricia again and tell her 'thank you.' You never know the impact you have on somebody. We refuse to let that 20-year stretch go by again."

Ready to  join in unity with the OST community for opportunity and find your people? Register for NAA22 today!

Other ideas to repurpose with new content:

https://naaweb.org/professional-development/item/1213-naa-convention-2020-sessions-to-inspire-the-leader-in-you?highlight=WyJjb252ZW50aW9uIiwiY29udmVudGlvbidzIl0=

The violent breach of the US Capitol on January 6, in addition to the many number of other upsetting events that occurred in 2020, could leave youth—especially those who have experienced systemic inequity and marginalization—feeling dismayed, unsafe and targeted.

It is imperative that we, afterschool leaders and professionals, ensure youth feel they are in a safe and supportive learning environment, no matter if they're learning in-person or virtually.

The National Association of School Psychologists have offered tips and materials for educators looking to support youth during this tumultuous time.

Courtesy of NAA.

The following are remarks from the NAA18 Monday afternoon plenary by Heidi Ham, NAA Vice President of Programs and Strategy.

Today, we are all here together, which is exciting, encouraging and positive. But outside of this safe haven—out in our day-to-day worlds and communities—we continue to hear news of school shootings and other acts of violence.

Young people's lives are valuable and kids deserve more than our reactive reassurances. As afterschool professionals and leaders, when do we say "Enough"?

We know that afterschool professionals and leaders want to be inspired, to connect, to share and to learn. While we don't expect you to find inspiration in horrific events, we know that with the support of our association and each other, those in the afterschool profession can focus their energies on proactively supporting the mental health and emotional and physical safety of young people.

At NAA ...

We believe in the power of afterschool and the people who work with—and on behalf of—children and youth during out-of-school time.

We believe that when adults invest quality time and compassion in young people, our youth rise to the challenge of making the world a better place for themselves and for others.

We believe that strong afterschool leaders develop the skilled professionals and teams that run strong organizations and quality programs that result in positive youth outcomes.

We believe afterschool is powerful today and has the potential to be even more so in the future.

At NAA, we believe in the power of afterschool and we believe in you!

That's why, over the course of the next year and beyond, members of the NAA community can expect more resources and supports. Starting right here in this room, today.

Brave leaders take risks, face the unknown, and create a vision for others that they can't imagine themselves.

We believe that the passionate people in the afterschool profession are the key to building our future and the future of millions of kids

We believe that afterschool makes a difference in the lives of young people, our communities and our nation.

We believe in you, in our youth, in ourselves and the collective us.

We believe in creating an even more powerful afterschool movement and look forward to working with you all and everyone in the afterschool profession to making it so.

And we know the time is now.